Monday, January 3, 2011

I'll Show You Mine if You... BLOGFEST!

BLOGFEST! I almost forgot, but better late than never. :)

January 3rd: post 500 words of your Nano novel.

Join the blogfest here.

File:Southwest corner of Central Park, looking east, NYC.jpg
Setting: Central Park
The sun went down in a splash of color that freckled the horizon. Normally, it would have been romantic, but I wasn’t feeling it tonight, even with Travis’ hand clasped around my own. It felt strangely delicious, being close to them this way—the dust of the Earth once made the brightest stars. People didn’t see themselves that way, but that was just because they couldn’t. They didn’t see what I saw when I closed my eyes. They didn’t see what my third eye revealed: the truth of their origins.
“What are you thinking about?” Travis asked me, brushing the blunt cut bangs from my face, a futile gesture, but a romantic one.
“I’m thinking about you,” I lied. But it wasn’t a lie, really. I was thinking about him. His kind.
His big, country boy hand squeezed mine, and a wholesome, toothy grin made his aura swell a brilliant royal blue. “It’s incredible,” he said. “How do your eyes change so quickly? It’s almost like you’re from another planet.”
I didn’t laugh. I didn’t even chuckle. I cried. I know—wuss, right? I’m a total wuss. But if you’d said goodbye as many times as I had in the past three hundred years, you’d know the salty taste of tears by heart. I’d have loved to taste that salt just once, but tears weren’t part of my makeup. The Earth and I were only passing friends. And Travis…
“Oh, Travis.” I looked at our hands with so much longing, my heart chakra threatened to explode.
“What’s wrong? You haven’t been yourself since Carnegie Hall. Are you really so put off by fame and fortune?”
I smiled at his nervous chuckle, grateful for once that I couldn’t produce tears. “You know I have no use for those things.”
“Well…” he squeezed my hand again and wrapped a burly arm around me. Stronger and bigger than most of my chosen ones, he was the softest of them all on the inside. That’s what made this so hard. “Every girl likes to have nice things, right?”
“Not this girl,” I told him, letting my face go slack. “This girl wants peace and quiet and retirement.” And there it was—the first whole truth I had ever told him.
“Why push us so hard, then? Why push me?” For the first time since the purple pink hues of the horizon faded to white, Travis frowned. “You don’t want fame, but you want me to be famous. What do you really want, Azalea?”
Right then, I wished I could zap out—reveal my nature in my escape—a clean break. At least for me. “I want to say goodbye,” I whispered, finally looking him full in the face. “And I want you to understand that it’s not because of anything you did.”
The look of shock—the tense open jaw, the round, lovely eyes—yanked at my soul. I’m sure my eyes turned navy blue, like his aura.
He couldn’t speak. He never could when it came to goodbyes.


  1. awesome! I love your descriptions. And your voice is strong too. Makes me want to read more! Great job.

    I didn't do Nano this year so I don't have anything to share, but I wanted to let you know that I love your snippet.

  2. OOH! i LOVED the "freckled the horizon" description. Very nice and lovely!
    Also that central park pic is AMAZING! i love it!
    Thanks so much for participating

  3. Oh, wow. You got me. Lots of emotion and story intrigue packed in there. Love it.

    Shared my own on my blog. :)

  4. That was just right. I'm ready to read this now!

  5. Christy, thank you so much for taking the time to say so! I just found out about Critter's new blog home and am looking forward to following his adventures.

    Sarah, you guys put on a great blogfest! Thanks for the opportunity to share and read so many excerpts!

    Fey, thank you! Your 'wow' made my day. I'm on my way to read yours as well.

    Wren, thank you. :) And I will send you the first 100 or so pages once I get rid of all the bolded phrases (like, "ADD TRANSITION HERE") Hee hee. It still needs a lot of work.

  6. I lurve that picture! It's gorgeous! Thank you so much for participating.

    What a truly heartbreaking excerpt. The weight and fate of the world is on poor Azalea's shoulders. Well done!

  7. Thanks for sharing your work, Katrina! I thought that Azalea's powers were fascinating.

    Happy writing in 2011!

  8. Wow, I'm definitely intrigued. Want to know more about this MC and her power and why she's such a heart-breaker--you know, everything. :)

    Thanks for participating!

  9. Aw... she's so sad. And an alien? Kind of reminds me of a female "Doctor" like from Dr. Who. Always having to move on and leave his companions behind. Perpetually lonely... poor girl and the poor guy she's leaving too.. nicely done!

  10. I found the struggle at the heart of this scene quite compelling. I'm interested to know more about the setup and what happens after. A nicely wrought piece of drama.

    Thanks for sharing it.

  11. I loved the first line, with it's freckled horizon. A gripping scene that leaves me wanting more!

  12. LOVE!! Sooo happy to revisit this story. About freakin' time :D

    Team Aazalea!!

  13. Wow :O that was sad, yet powerful, yet amazing! lot of yets right there :P But seriously, very good!

  14. Thank you, everybody! Your comments seriously made my week! I've been editing and struggling through this WIP like never before. Thank you so much!

    @Rebecca, very cool comparison! She is a little like the mysterious Dr. Who, especially emotionally.

    @Trisha, 'Wow' responses are my favorite. Thank you so, so much!

    Good luck on your own revisions, guys!

  15. A lot of puzzling things right off the bat - 'close to them'? Them who?? And the MC has a third eye - is that literal or metaphysical?? (Or both, or neither.)

    Fascinating stuff - so I'm gathering that Azalea is an alien, visiting Earth as she often does, and in a relationship with Travis, but he doesn't know her secret. Wondering what the bit was about Carnegie Hall... practice? :D Did she push him to perform there, because she recognizes he has a musical talent and wants him to be a success?

    Thank you very much for sharing in the blogfest, and I wish that I could read more.

    PS: Oh, and I thought the Doctor Who comparison was good. She also reminded me a bit of the aliens from the original 'Roswell High' books, especially with the seeing auras, though that wasn't picked up in the show.

  16. I want to know more about the characters! It sounds like she comes from another planet, and has fallen in love with the people in other places many times. Very intriguing.

    Thanks for sharing the excerpt!


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