It's the Rejectionist's blog anniversary and we're celebrating by writing about rejection. Cheerful, isn't it?
Don't worry. I'm not going to twist you into a disheartened mass with my word magic.
I'm going to pretend we live in an alternate reality where agents are more like scouts than gate-keepers, making initial contact to request the work of authors they've discovered online. This is in NO way intended to offend literary agents, for whom I have immense respect. I just think it would be fun to imagine a world where authors, agents, and publishers interact in a totally different way. After all, I do write speculative fiction.
Thank you for requesting to see Not Quite Nirvana in full. I am flattered by your attention and impressed by your vision for my project. However, in this competitive market, I feel your publishing contacts aren't unique enough for this particular book, as two of your contacts have already requested publishing rights from me directly. I encourage you to request elsewhere as authors in a different situation will certainly feel differently.
And just to show I'm not a bitter writer, here's the YES version of the above query response:
Thank you for requesting to see Not Quite Nirvana in full! PublishersX and PublishersZ have already requested publishing rights, and I am eager to see what your illustrious contacts think, as well. Your vision for my project matches mine to a T, and I'm excited to be working with you. Please send your initial contract and I'll have my lawyer go over it this weekend. Thank you again.
Ah, alternate realities are so fun. Okay, back to reality. I haven't received a form rejection letter in...*runs to check gmail*...ah, my birthday, two weeks ago. Waiting patiently on a few partial-submissions, but I rest assured that I have not seen the end of The Rejection Monster.
Some things in life are certain: death, taxes, rejection... and sunrise. Happens every time. Yep, even after death.
Haven't you heard? Hope springs eternal.